


"Don't Worry, I Have a Plan"

by ComputerButch



Series: Sam x Lara one-shots [3]
Category: Tomb Raider & Related Fandoms
Genre: Action, F/F, Heist, One-Shot, semi-crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:40:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25111768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComputerButch/pseuds/ComputerButch
Summary: Sam, Lara, and Jonah attempt to steal an important item from a museum, shenanigans ensue.Written based on the prompt, "Don't Worry, I Have a Plan".Archive warning present because at one point a character bleeds.
Relationships: Lara Croft & Samantha Nishimura, Lara Croft & Samantha Nishimura & Jonah Maiava, Lara Croft & Samantha Nishimura & Jonah Maiava & Kaz Weiss, Lara Croft/Samantha Nishimura
Series: Sam x Lara one-shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1818796
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	"Don't Worry, I Have a Plan"

**Author's Note:**

> So this whole fic is a joke, don't take it too seriously, and hopefully, you'll find it entertaining, enjoy!
> 
> Don't forget to check out our S.S. Endurance Discord server if you love Sam x Lara or want to take part in our bi-weekly prompts! discord.gg/dG4PZf4

Sam looked to Lara and Jonah, her friends, and today- partners in crime.

“You two ready?” She asked with a grin.

“Just about,” Lara replied, as she finished fastening her hi-vis construction jumper.

“Ready when you are,” Jonah replied through the dust mask and goggles he’d just put on.

“Good, so we go in, secure the exits, get what we need, and get out, got it?” Sam asked. Lara and Jonah nodded in agreement. Sam loaded her 40mm launcher with the rubber-tipped rounds she’d brought. She made a mental note to fire the rounds only at the ground and not her targets, so they could safely ricochet and not cause any permanent injuries. Sam felt a hand on her shoulder and looked to see Jonah looking at her and Lara with a hand on both their shoulders. Lara and Sam nodded.

“Let’s do this,” said Jonah.

The group then got out of their unmarked van and made a subtle entrance into the large complex through one of the back doors. Lara quickly chained up the doors behind them and the three made their way into the museum. All of a sudden, a shrill voice brought the three to a halt.

“Excuse me, is there something I can help you with?”

Lara and Sam looked to Jonah.

“ _Well, you’re our charmer,” said Sam._

_“Alright Jonah, what are you going to do?” Kaz asked._

_“Uhh, well we’re in construction gear, let me try to convince them we’re supposed to be here,” Jonah replied. Kaz grinned._

“Oh hi, yeah we’re uh, scheduled to do maintenance on the automated doors and the lights today?”

“I wasn’t made aware of this.” The museum guide replied.

“Right, well we’re actually not going to be starting until after you guys close, but management said we could go get our equipment set up beforehand,” Jonah replied politely.

“ _Okay, roll a d20,” said Kaz._

_“I got thirteen”._

“I’m going to have to check with management,” stated the guide.

“Sure, we’ll just get set up near the main entrance, don’t worry, we won’t get in the way,” Jonah replied, then motioned for the group to follow.

“ _Damn, we’re gonna have to pull off the next part fast,” said Jonah._

_“Well, she was at least partially convinced, so you guys should have enough time if you keep up the pace,” said Kaz._

The group then made their way to the main entrance of the museum and quickly chained up the doors.

“Okay, there should be one more entrance if we keep going this way, then we can get started,” Sam said. 

Sam took in her surroundings while Lara and Jonah moved ahead, watching for anyone who might be suspicious of the group. A few security guards were starting to glance in their direction, as well as other museum staff. Though most of the patrons were busy paying attention to the items on display.

Sam quickened her pace to catch up to Lara and Jonah and reached them just as Lara finished chaining the final door. 

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Boomed the voice of a large security guard.

Panicked, the three looked at each other hoping someone would think of some clever way to react. No one did.

“I’m calling this in!” The guard said again, angrier now.

Quickly, Sam reached into her construction vest and pulled out the launcher she had concealed.

_“I’m gonna take him out,” said Sam, “I rolled a 17!”_

_“You fire the round at the ground, and it bounces in a perfect path,” Kaz began to describe, “ it hits the guard on the forehead knocking him to the floor, it’ll give them a nasty headache but they’ll be fine.”_

_“Nice!” exclaimed Sam._

_“Quick thinking Sam,” added Lara. Sam smiled in Lara’s direction, and a flush went down Lara’s face._

_“Not so fast, everyone heard the shot, so now everyone is on high alert. Before you guys can react, a staff member sets off the alarm, and now every security guard in the building is ducking for cover and every patron is scrambling to find the nearest exit,” said Kaz._

_“Don’t worry, I have a plan,” replied Sam, who grinned mischievously._

_“So what do we do now?” Asked Jonah._

_“Now? We steal the Declaration of Independence,” replied Sam, who grinned ear to ear._

_Lara cracked up laughing, but Jonah shared a smile with Sam._

Just as the alarm went off, Lara signalled to the others.

“Going dark in five! Light’s up!” Lara shouted. Sam and Jonah turned on their headlamps and Sam turned on the flashlight mounted to her launcher.

“Now!” Lara pressed the detonator which was followed by a loud bassy noise, and in less than a second the lights went off, increasing the chaos that was now taking place inside the National Archives.

Seconds later, the red emergency lighting switched on, but visibility remained low.

“Okay, so we have a couple of minutes until we’re swarming with Feds around all exits. Lara, get to the Declaration, get us into that casing, Jonah, you watch my back, we’ve got to keep Lara safe while she works,” Sam asserted. Sam double-checked her launcher and Jonah checked their surroundings to make sure they were safe. However, when it came to Lara, she was stuck in place watching Sam with a goofy look in her eyes.

“What’s up? Got everything you need?” Sam asked. Lara almost _giggled_ in response.

“Oh, yeah, I just love watching you when you’re like this,” Lara confessed, heat visibly rising to her cheeks.

“Yeah? Well get us that document and you’ll get to watch me a whole lot more,” Sam replied and added a wink.

“Oooh okay, lead on, boss,” Lara said.

“Right, with me,” Sam confirmed.

Sam made her way back to the central room, keeping an eye out for guards. Perhaps oddly, they didn’t encounter any.

Once inside the central chamber, the emergency lights barely kept the place illuminated. Dim red lights marked the entrances to the room but the wall-mounted lights around the circular chamber hardly did much of a job keeping the place lit.

“Well it’s going to be tough to work when I can barely see, but I’ve been through worse,” Lara said. Lara spread her tools out on the glass fixture next to the display holding the Declaration of Independence and grabbed the cordless drill, quickly climbing below the stand to open it up.

Not even a minute later, the sharp crack of a firearm discharge sounded and a bullet whizzed past Lara.

“East side! My nine!” Jonah called out.

“Got it! Let’s keep them boxed in!” Sam replied. Sam fired her launcher, over and over.

“ _Fifteen! Thirteen! Eighteen! Twelve!” The feds kept coming and Sam’s rolls kept on giving, until, “shit, four!”_

_“Weapon malfunction! Keep rolling each turn until you get a fifteen or above,” Kaz explained._

_“I’ve got this,” said Jonah._

Sam pulled the trigger and nothing happened. It was jammed. She ejected the dud round, then replaced it with a fresh one and tried to chamber the round, _stuck again._ This might take a while.

Meanwhile, Sam saw Jonah barrel towards the entrance, where their opposition was regrouping. He hoisted one of the downed people- no, _Feds_ over his body as a shield then ran into what looked like a group just hidden behind cover. Finally, Sam managed to chamber the round, and that’s when she heard it, the loud, unmistakable CRACK of gunfire.

No. It couldn’t be.

“Hide behind the display if you have to, I need to check on Jonah,” Sam yelled.

Sam sprinted towards the sound, leaping over cover and firing shot after shot until the attackers retreated.

“Ugh…”

“Jonah!” Sam exclaimed, and there Jonah was, laying on the ground disoriented, with a bullet lodged in the Kevlar vest he’d decided to swap his hi-vis for. Sam let out the biggest sigh.

“Get up, we need to get back to Lara, good call on the vest,” Sam said, and helped to hoist up the large Maori man back to his feet.

“Ow, I’ve been through worse, I’ll be okay,” said Jonah, straining for breath.

“Haven’t we all, here, take this, I’m getting myself one as well,” said Sam, and handed him her launcher.

Sam let the hi-vis vest drop from her shoulders as she shrugged on the kevlar one. It was heavier and didn’t fit her quite right, but she’d take life-saving over comfort in any heist.

“Hey, I think I can get this open real soon, but I’ll need to be exposed, think you guys can force the fighting back while I do?” Asked Lara once Sam and Jonah returned.

“Got it, they’ve only been able to make it in through this one side so we should be able to force them out, still got any of those chains?” Sam replied.

“No, and you said we’d only need one, I brought the other three as backups, remember?” Lara replied in return.

“ _Look, Lara, there was only supposed to be one way in or out, which is why I only said to bring the one, but the plan has otherwise been going pretty smoothly, wouldn’t you say?” Sam asked._

_“Sure, Sam, but it’s nothing like in the film. They don’t even run into the cops until after they leave the building!”_

_“What are you talking about? They end up holding hostages for like, the next few days!” Sam replied, with a bit more passion now._

_“Are you even talking about the same movie? National Treasure? With Nicolas Cage?” Lara asked incredulously._

_“I thought it was with Denzel Washington!” said Sam._

_“Guys guys! You can figure out the movie plot later. Right now you’ve still got an FBI backed SWAT team making their way to you and you need to figure out how to escape once you’ve got the document. We’ve been making good time this session so let’s keep it up and keep having fun,” interrupted Kaz._

“Right, no chains, but I think I have an idea. Lara, how much time do you think you need to get the document out?” Sam asked.

“Uh, maybe a minute?” replied Lara.

“What’s your plan?” Asked Jonah.

“We let out the hostages, let’s get to work,” Said Sam.

“Gotcha, I’ll round them up,” said Jonah.

“Right, and I’ll make sure the Feds don’t accidentally start gunning them down on their way out.”

“Good idea, see you there,” replied Jonah.

“I’ll let you guys know once this is secure,” said Lara.

Sam nodded agreement to Jonah and Lara then set off into the dark, red-lit corridors leading to whichever entrance the SWAT team were using. It was quiet, and the empty halls of the building reminded Sam of late nights making her way through the campus at UCL. Finally, Sam made it to the entrance and could see the flashing lights of law enforcement and other emergency vehicles through the glass a mere few metres away.

Jonah was going to arrive shortly, so Sam had to work fast. She rummaged around the nearby desks and furnishings for anything she could use as a white flag. Tissues? Too flimsy, American flags? Not enough white, Paper! That could work.

Sam haphazardly taped a blank piece of paper to a broom she found and waved it around as a test, yeah, that would do nicely.

Right on time, Jonah showed up, leading the group of hostages behind him.

“Okay, listen up, the feds behind that door won’t be expecting you, so security first, and the first one out hold out this flag,” Sam commanded.

The group awkwardly shuffled about, none willing to be the first one out.

“No volunteers? Fine, let me explain how this is going to go, first, you,” Sam said as she shoved the makeshift white flag into a random guard’s hands, “are going to walk out that door, and then the rest of you are going to follow, got it?” 

Still, the group awkwardly shuffled around, and whimpers could be heard.

Sam rolled her eyes, then reached for Jonah’s holstered pistol, and fired a round into the air. The group cowered in fear, some screams were heard.

“That round was a blank, the ones in this gun though? Are not. Anyone here wanna be target practice? No? Then move!”

Immediately the guard holding the flag led the pack, waving it left and right as he exited the building. Some yelling could be heard and then as soon as both doors were opened the hostages began piling out.

“Well, that was a little harsh, but you got them out,” Jonah commented.

“Just needed to motivate them, c’mon, let’s get back, Lara should have the Declaration by now.

Sam and Jonah entered the central chamber to see Lara carefully pulling the Declaration of Independence from its display and rolling it up to put in a case.

“I’ve got it, which way’s out?” Lara said.

“When I was getting the hostages I noticed the opposite entrance isn’t being guarded, you’ve still got the keys?” Asked Jonah.

“But of course!” Lara replied with accentuated syllables.

“Follow me,” commanded Sam, taking the lead.

Sam again made her way through dark corridors, now empty of everything but dim red light and historical documents and items on display.

The group made it to the exit without conflict, and Lara began to remove the chains while Sam and Jonah peered through the door looking out for a possible ambush.

A short time later the chains clanged to the ground and Sam opened the door slowly, her launcher pointed out.

“Clear!” Sam called out in a whispered voice.

“The van’s round back, we’ll have to cut through the alleyway,” Lara said.

“Shit, let’s make it quick,” Sam said, “on my mark… mark!”

The three darted around the building into the alley and continued onward, their breaths growing sharper and footsteps becoming heavier as the blood coursed through their veins. They reached the end of the alley looking towards the back parking lots and stopped a moment to catch their breath.

“The van’s right over there,” Lara said between breaths.

“Alright, let’s go,” said Jonah, and the three ran once more.

Halfway across the parking lot, a gunshot sounded from the distance and a round whizzed past Sam, then another shot past Lara, then another past Jonah. Soon enough the group was running literally for dear life as bullets zipped by left and right, all far too close for comfort.

After what felt like kilometres The group made it to their getaway van and Lara was the first in, jumping into the driver’s seat. Sam turned and fired directly at the shooters, hopefully driving some of them into cover. Jonah opened up the back and Sam hopped in, still firing her rubber-tipped rounds out into the open, far further than they were meant to fly.

“Everybody in?” Lara’s voice asked from the front of the van.

“Yeah, let’s go!” yelled Jonah.

Lara floored it in reverse, making Sam, who was sitting on the back of the van with the doors open, fall in a heap on her back. She then accelerated sharply forward, nearly sending Sam back out into the parking lot. She was saved only by Jonah’s strong grip rescuing her.

Sam quickly got back herself in place and readied her launcher once more. 

Just then, a sharp, cold sensation pierced Sam’s leg. She looked down, and the unmistakable dark red colour of blood stained her jeans. Jonah pulled her into the van and shut the doors.

“Sam got hit! She needs help!” Jonah cried out.

“Shit! Keep her awake, we’ll do what we can once we’re clear of these pigs,” Lara replied.

“Just sit up, keep watch out the window, I’ll try to stop the bleeding,” Jonah said.

Sam fought off the dizzy spell from the sharp pain building in her leg and tried to focus on the pursuit she could see out the back window. The feds were slightly delayed by the group’s escape route and weren’t able to be on their tail until they were a little over a block away. Still, they pursued, sirens blaring in the evening traffic of Washington D.C.’s downtown core. Jonah rummaged around, looking for anything to use as a makeshift bandage. 

Lara drove aggressively, weaving through traffic like a character in a video game. Every sharp turn and every game of chicken with oncoming traffic gaining them precious metres of distance away from their pursuers. Sam grew dizzier and watched as the bloodstain on her pant leg grew larger and darker. CLUNK.

“Well, it’s not ideal, but it should work,” Jonah said. Sam looked down, Jonah had ripped one of the van’s seat belts off and was using it to bandage the wound.

“Sorry, this is going to hurt,” Jonah said.

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHH”

Securing the makeshift bandage felt like a thousand needles digging their way into her flesh. Sam hadn’t experienced a sharper pain in her life, in an instant, vertigo disappeared and was replaced with a surge of adrenaline.

“You okay?” Sam heard Jonah ask.

“Yeah, and pissed off,” Sam replied, sitting herself up straighter.

“Good,” Lara added, “because I think we’re going to have to walk from here, get ready for…” All of a sudden the van came to a sudden halt as Jonah and Sam were sent flying towards the front of the vehicle.

“Everyone okay? Let’s move!” Lara yelled.

The group piled out of the van and Jonah supported Sam’s injured leg. Lara had crashed into a dumpster behind a restaurant.

“Yes, yes, not the ideal way to stop, but we’re in a hurry,” Lara quipped.

“Let’s get these vests and masks off, we’ll be harder to recognise without them,” added Sam.

A ditched crashed van and change back into their normal clothes later, and the group was making their way through side streets in D.C.

Lara had driven them Northeast from the National Archives, and now they were making their way through residential areas. Most residents were focused on dinner or just making it home from late shifts, so the three were able to make it by without suspicion.

“Does the client have access to a medic? Me walking into a hospital with a gunshot to the leg would lead the feds right to us,” Sam said.

“Good point, I’ll text them, see if we can work something out,” Jonah added.

“Where the hell are we anyway?” Lara asked.

“Uhh, we just passed Franklin and 15th, wherever that is,” replied Sam, “also, I don’t think we need to hurry much anymore, I haven’t seen a cop in a minute.”

“Hey, thanks for that, I let the client know where we are, they say they’re going to pick us up at the next intersection,” said Jonah.

“Thank god,” exclaimed Lara. About ten minutes of waiting later, an unmarked van much like the one they’d escaped in arrived. The back door rolled open to a person wearing coveralls and a surgeons mask.

“Gene tabs?” The person asked.

“Got ‘em right here,” Jonah replied, pointing to the case holding the Declaration.

“Alright, hop in.”

  
  


After a roundabout drive and a stop to pull the bullet fragments from Sam’s leg and disinfect and bandage the wound, the van pulled into the driveway of a large two-story house.

The medic pulled the doors open, revealing a man shrouded in shadow.

“Stay here,” the medic said.

The medic approached the shadowed figure, but their conversation was unintelligible.

“Show me the document,” the figure said suddenly.

“Here,” Lara said while she removed the Declaration from its case. The medic reached for the Declaration, but Sam put a hand in front to stop him.

“Show us the payment first,” Sam interjected.

The shadowy figure walked into the open, holding a case. Now in the light, the group could see he had the likeness of Nicolas Cage!

“Ben Gates?” Lara asked.

“The very same, and your payment,” said Mr Gates. He opened the case, revealing a historical Japanese bracelet which appeared to be decorated with a dark green material similar to jade.

“Useless to anyone who doesn’t know how to use it, but I suspect you,” he looked to Sam, “might be able to discover how it works.”

“That’s perfect, though I have to ask, what are your plans for the Declaration?” Asked Lara.

“I believe there may be more to the document than what’s visible to the naked eye, and I intend to prove this,” Mr Gates replied.

“I’m sure your discoveries will yield a revelation to be sure,” Lara added with a smirk.

“That’s the plan, so we’re agreed?”

“Agreed.”

_“Oh my god Kaz, was it your plan to have him show up the whole time?” Lara asked._

_“Sure was! I had no idea you knew the movie so well,” replied Kaz._

_“Well, Ben Gates is much like me, a seeker of truth coming from a family who’s been continuously discredited and shamed out of academia, the film really spoke to me.”_

_“I can’t believe I hadn’t remembered that, and I can’t believe I got National Treasure mixed up with Inside Man the whole time!” Sam added._

_“Inside Man? Isn’t that like, a bank heist movie?” Jonah asked._

_“Yeah, and one of the best! Really subverts your expectations the whole time!” Sam replied._

_“Well, this session went really well, aside from Sam getting shot,” Kaz said._

_“And Lara crashing us into a dumpster,” Sam added._

_“Hey, I told you we were in a rush!” Lara replied defensively._

_“Well, I’m sure as long as Lara here promises never to drive us around like that outside the game, we should be okay,” said Jonah. Lara ducked her head down like a sad dog._

_“So, same time two weeks from now?” Asked Kaz. She was met with simultaneous yesses across the table. A perfect close to a brilliant evening._

**Author's Note:**

> Would you believe this is the first thing I've published in over a year? Oof. I've been busy re-writing/reworking Gaps to be a much better and cohesive story, and that's put a damper on most things. Happy to share this silly fic with you all though! Let me know if you enjoyed it.


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